Things are getting a little better. A lot has happened and is happening. I got the job at Sykes! I am so happy. It is a bit different, its a call center company. I will be working for One Touch meters for testing blood. These meters are for diabetics to get blood sugar readings. Basically, I will be helping customers who call and can't fix their meter or have questions about it and what not. I have been getting training for about 3 weeks now. It has been a bit hectic. I am working full-time, 5 days a week. I like it so far, but there has been some drama from the new trainees. A bunch of new people are hired the same time, and the training is like a class. So we just talk to each other and are friends but some people have issues with others. Well, it is more like one woman that everyone kinda has a bit of issues with. It is entertainig to see drama but sometimes it gets annoying.
The weather is even better now, it gets a little cold, but then it gets nice again. I believe the last snow was definitely the last. It has been sunny today and some rains for next week. But I am excited for the summer! I have been working out too, exersicing more, I lost 5 lbs! I am 175lbs, I have 45lbs more to go. I still have to make up my fasts, about 10 left. But its alright, its hard now since I work. Maybe tomorrow I can do a fast. I walk about 2.5 miles for 5 days a week. So that is about 12.5 ish miles. Sometimes its less, but overall that is a lot of walking, plus I am exersicing at home. It gets me exhausted but I like it now. I feel like I am not having any cravings, and I drink a lot more water. I sleep early and wake up early. Everything is back on track for me. I have so much time now. I never realized how much time I spent in school and in my studies for school. It really is nice.
I have also been writing more now, on Mogul.com as a contributor writer. I have started this online matrimonial website, I know its a bit silly, and weird for me, but I thought why not? I did try this website before, but it was not that great, not a lot of decent guys. I ended up closing it. Now I made it again, and suprisingly there are some really decent guys. The only thing that sucks is being rejected or rejecting others. It is kinda like Tinder, if you are interested you "connect", if you are not sure than "maybe", and if you are not "decline". I was declined by almost every guy I wanted to connect with. But I also have rejected plenty of guys. I do have some that I accepted. There was one guy who I put as maybe, and then he wanted to connect and now I accepted. We have been texting on the phone for about 3 weeks now. He seems really nice, smart, and got to admit he is pretty cute.
The only issue I have been having is with my mom. She seems to be mad about every little thing I tell her. I can't seem to talk to her without her losing her mind. I have not told her about this guy. But I mean when I mentioned Italy she went ballistic. She takes things so literally, I was just generally thinking. She also has an issue with everything and everyone. I tell her one thing she starts accusing me and criticizing me about things I don't even know about, or understand. It is so tough having a mother like that. She pressures me too much, because of her I made that profile for that matrimonial website. I am saving money to move and live with her. But I wonder if I should, I will lose my mind if I have to deal with her crazy explosive thoughts. She makes me feel sick, talking to her really ruins my mood, and I get so depressed. I feel like I am never good enough, I don't know what I did, but I keep feeling guilty and like I did not do anything at all. I try to be there, and I try to be nice. But at this point I feel I don't need to go through this.
It sucks because I just know that this is how our relation will be forever, she will never get me, she just doesn't get it. I can't get her to see my side because her mind doesn't even think that way. I always wished to have a mother like a companion, but it really will never be that way with my mom. I just have to accept it I guess....I just know when I am a mother I will love my kids so much. I have more understandings with my siblings now because we know how our parents are, and how little they were even there for us. I talk to my little sister about the problems I have with mother.
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