For Those Who Have Been Kicked One Too Many Times in Life

Eram Qureshi

                         
             

           When so much happens to you, it’s hard to think straight sometimes. It’s hard to cope with stress; anger, pain, and agony of wishing things were different. It is tough to accept that these things happened to you. I have gotten through most of my life, but there are some things that forever change who you are, but also there is a constant reminder of that change. Not because you can’t forget the change, but because something that was there, is now gone. Something that was always a mystery is now answered. But that’s ok, life is all about change. As humans, we were designed to evolve and adapt.
          
                 



           I know how many times I have thought about an incident, and I relived the pain, and hurt from the experience, and think of all the people that caused it all. I feel so much turmoil, and want to get revenge, I feel so much hatred. It ends up consuming me, turning me into something I am not. The thing I hate the most, is how I cannot hate no matter how much in pain I am. I know that there will be no revenge, and that I will just have to move on, and be hopeful. I will have to force myself to forget, to think positive. I will have to push myself to do new things. Slowly, I do move on, I do forget. Those painful times become blurs of distant memories. But there is a pain that never goes away, knowing that the other person hurt you and felt no remorse or grief. They lived their life as it was. No mental breakdowns for them. They still have all they want and more. The feeling of being treated like nothing is the worst pain of all. A person who has worked all their life to be fair, and always does the right thing, gets treated like nothing. When you know you had so many chances to give that person a taste of their medicine, and decided to take the higher route, is even more irritating.

         

           You wonder why you are treated like dirt, if you are doing everything that you believe is right, and it is embedded in your blood. You feel good when you help others, you can’t help but sympathize. Even when someone hurts you, you try to imagine what it is like to be in their shoes. You want to understand, and learn why they did what they did. You even might start questioning yourself, if you were really being just or fair? You start thinking maybe you deserved what happened to you. It’s tough because, yes you have moved on, but these things that happened in your life, changes you. All you can do is keep pushing forward, hoping there is a reason, and hoping that something better is out there. There are times you will fall, and look back. There are times you will go against what you believe, and become rebellious, throwing your anger at everyone and everything. You start giving up, as doing the right thing means nothing anymore. But being patient is important; you will find that life, which made you believe in yourself soon again. Things will get better. You will get out of it all.

                 I try to believe that everyone has problems. Even though it may seem that I have problems, but it’s not like everyone knows about it. I know the people that hurt me have problems, they probably won’t tell me of course. I know they will get their karma. Sometimes it’s important to trust in justice, and believe that there is balance in this world. I want to believe that innocent people who have suffered will get their justice. Order will be retained. I also like to believe everything happens for a reason. Maybe someone is not in my life, because they were not good, they were not good for me. Sometimes I may not see clearly, when something happens in the total opposite direction of what I imagine. Sometimes the craziest paths have the best journeys, and the destination is worth the struggle.

                I have met many people who are much older than me; they share their experiences, their ups and downs. Today they are doing really well. They have children, a house, a great job, and they are still having kept their morals and values with them. They suffered, they struggled, but all that is almost unreal, when you see all the accomplishments they made, despite their troubles. That is what keeps me going. I know that there are people who have it worse than me. There are people who had it worse than me, and now are running businesses, are traveling the world. There are people that are happy and enjoy everything that they are and all the things that happen to them. The way I see it, the things I love about life are the struggles, the pain, and the tears. When I look back and see how far I have come, and problems that I had once are now so small and irrelevant. It proves I am stronger than I believe.